A New Year, For Me

This last year has been crazy.  New baby, heart condition, trying to run a business with two kids at home...seems like I have little time for this blog anymore.

But I miss this.  I miss this space.  The ability to sit down and dump my feelings out.  For me, it's therapeutic.

I'm not one to sit and make resolutions.  I know that by mid-January I'll be booking a one-way guilt trip because I've tossed them to the wayside.  This year though, I honestly do want to make some changes.  I need to do a better job of managing my time.  I need to do a better job of finding MY time.  As in, finding time for myself.  Doing things for myself.  And yes, that means coming back here more often.

I need it.  I need the outlet and truthfully, I miss it.

Happy New Year!

Lessons from the Road

1. Changing tables are few and far between in certain stretches along I-80.  This includes places such as rest areas, gas stations AND restaurants.  When the temperature hovers in the single digits it doesn't allow one to lay a child on the seat and change a diaper while standing outside the car, leaned over said baby.  It causes one to come up with creative ways to change diapers.


2. When those temperatures continue to hover in the single digits, water pipes freeze at Wyoming rest areas.  With 20+ miles to the next exit with a gas station, 42 miles to the next rest area and a 2nd cup of coffee causing your bladder to utter curse words you take your chances with non-flushing toilets. Gross, but a necessity.


3. $4 pillows from Wal-Mart are a life saver when you log 4000 miles.  And you feel less guilty about it when you open the back door to the truck and they fall out onto the parking lot.


4. Tantrums are not only for children.


5. With two small, impressionable children in the backseat and thousands of asshats pulling asshat-like driving maneuvers in front of you on the interstate, you come up with creative ways to curse at them.  Like calling them portholes.


6. Breaking stuff is a gift children and dogs demonstrate.  Even if you don't think it's possible for them to reach it or cause any damage to it, they will.  Quickly too.  Houseplants and baby gates seem to be highly favored items to destroy.


7. Five year olds can get tired of fast food chicken nuggets.  Almost unimaginable, I know.


8. One who thinks it's a good idea to give a 5-year old a bag of marbles while in the truck should not be allowed to get mad and yell when said marble bag gets dumped.  Especially when the dumping is accidental.  It does however cause other occupants of the vehicle to laugh at the creative ways implemented to prevent marbles from spilling out into parking lots when doors are opened.


9. If you find yourself with 5 bottles of Michigan wine and 4, 6-packs of Michigan brewed beer in your cart at Wal-Mart throw a couple of bags of chips in with your alcohol.  Other shoppers will look at you as though you have a problem but you'll fool yourself into thinking otherwise.


10. Upon waking from a nap, don't ask why the driver is waving an open pack of gum around.  Please, just don't ask.  Just pray you never experience it.


11. After 20ish years, one can still remember the words to the most popular song played at 8th grade dances.  Thank you, Extreme, for those eternally ingrained lyrics.


12. Two adults, two small children and 2 fifty-pound dogs in a small hotel room makes for a tight space.  Add in a pack 'n play, two dog kennels, 3 suitcases, 2 computer cases, 1 camera case, 3 rubbermaid storage containers, a small wooden rocking chair, 1 diaper bag, 1 preschool backpack and 2 boxes of childhood momentos and that tight space becomes suffocating.  Mix with exhaustion, impatience and restlessness and everyone is *almost* grateful to get back in the truck when the interstate reopens.


13. Dogs, albeit man's best friend, may not always appreciate thoughtful gestures.  When the forecast is calling for single digit, if not negative, temperatures please refrain from taking your beloved sweatshirt and putting it on a pet.  If you chose not to refrain, don't be surprised at the next gas station when you find the dog has escaped from your generosity AND chewed some air conditioning vents in it for you.  Those holes can not be fixed.  Add another $25 to your trip tally.  And once again, be prepared for other occupants of the vehicle to laugh.


14. My husband is still the most awesome person to road trip with. I may get frustrated with his antics, his vocabulary, his grumpiness and his desire to listen to NPR at 1am but he keeps me sane and he makes me laugh.  Oh, does he make me laugh.  Sometimes it's with him; sometimes it's at him.  No matter the case, it reminds me why I fell in love with him almost 13 years ago and why I still love him more than words. (Yeah, you guessed the song right.  And no, I don't feel badly that it's now streaming through your head. I can't hear you cursing at me over the volume of the verses blaring in my skull.)

Holiday Countdown

The countdown has begun.  

Just imagine it: 2 adults, 1 preschooler, 1 infant and 2 dogs journeying almost 4000 miles round trip in the span of 10 days.  As much as I love road trips -- and I used to really love this one pre-kids -- it's so much more involved now.

This is where I wish we had a bigger vehicle (a full size SUV with a 3rd row seat would be nice, instead of a double cab pickup or my ancient 4Runner that we don't trust to make the drive).  Or a bigger bank account to afford the $800+ per person airfare.  Or even a spouse with unlimited vacation time so we could set a more leisurely pace.

C seems to think we'll be able to drive straight through.  My thoughts?  Bwahahahahaha!  Straight through is doubtful.  I'm pushing for 2 days, with a hotel stay somewhere around Omaha to give the kids time out of the truck.  They might not sleep well but it will be better sleep than in carseats.  Maybe.  

As always, we'll do everything on the fly.  I'll be equipped with a list of pet-friendly hotels in major cities from Kearney, Nebraska to Davenport, Iowa.

Twice now we've been stuck somewhere in Wyoming on the drive back West due to inclement weather.  At this/that time of year it's always a gamble.

I'll be praying for sanity, clear roads and docile kids.  The chances of all three are slim but one can hope, right?

Not That Old, Yet

Twice today I've gotten emails regarding AARP memberships.  Twice.  Granted I feel (as in my body physically feels) like I should be hitting retirement age but my feet are firmly planted in my 30's.  Early 30's for another little bit.

Gotta love junk mail.

New Wheels

After talking about it for years, it finally happened.

My own road bike.  I'm already dreaming of the time it will allow me out of the house, away from everything but myself (and whomever I can convince to ride with me) -- giving me time to clear my head.  

Now I'm crossing my fingers we have a short winter and a nice, mild spring!  These wheels needs to hit the pavement ASAP.

Breathe

Today is starting out to be one of *those* days.  You know the kind.  Where you wish you could either crawl back in bed and start over, fast forward to the end or dump a couple of shots of Bailey's in your coffee.

Hell, this whole week has been that way.

This morning my list of annoyances is long and my patience is short.  I'd love to sit here and prattle on about everything that is getting under my skin.  But I know that in the grand scheme of things it's all just minor infractions and in time, it will pass.

So instead I'll fill my coffee cup (with just coffee, I promise) again and take a moment to breathe.

Spinning My Wheels

Too much to do and never enough time to get it all done.

Does that seem to be the theme for other people as well?  I certainly hope so.  Not that I hope you can't get your stuff done as well, but that I'm not the only one who hopelessly feels like they're never accomplishing what needs to be finished.

This time of year is tough -- C's birthday, Halloween, KT's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Baby Girl's birthday all jammed into just over 9 weeks.  Add to it holiday travel, my business stuff, yard work and the day to day stuff of life and my to-do list continues to grow and grow and grow.

Which is why this blog seems to sit, untouched for lengths of time.  I need to get back here more often.  There's too much rattling around in my head that I need to find a place to dump some of it.

Sealed My Sleeping Fate

My husband snores.  Horribly some nights.  Much more so the older we get.  And since 95% of the time he's in bed and sound asleep before the thought of sleep even crosses my mind, I often find myself trying to drown out the noise coming from his side of the bed in an attempt to drift off myself.

A couple of years ago we had a mini-sleep study done on him.  Nothing too extensive -- just one night here at home he was hooked up to a couple of monitors that watched his heart rate and his breathing through the night.  We did find out that he has a very, very minor case of sleep apnea.  The doctor that ordered the test recommended surgery to fix a deviated septum, remove his tonsils and shorten the uvula.  This trifecta of problems would help to reduce the snoring and correct the apnea.

C was hesitant about the procedure to begin with from the horror stories he'd heard about having your tonsils out as an adult.

I can GUARANTEE it's never, ever, not in a million years, going to happen now.

You see, I had a deviated septum fixed last Friday.  As well as the rest of my sinus cavities roto-rootered to remove some cysts and a pocket of "chronic" sinusitis.  Suffice to say the pain and recovery that goes with this procedure is not to be taken lightly.  I'm 4 days out and still hating life.  

I told him on Saturday that if I'd had known how much it would suck I don't think I'd have opted for surgery; I would have dealt with the sinus headaches.

It's a done deal: I should invest in ear plugs now.

Strength

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong;
but sometimes it is letting go."  ~Hermann Hesse~

This quote has been rattling around in my brain for a few days now.  The more I try to take on, the louder the cacophony gets.  

I need to do a better job of really listening to it--not just letting it rattle. 

I can't keep beating myself up over to-do lists that get longer and longer; I can't keep worrying over dirty floors and weedy flower beds;  I can't keep worrying about things that are out of my control.

I can only do what I can do.  

I need to be more grateful for the blessings I've been given and the memories I'm making.  

The rest will come together as it should.

Change

As the temps begin to drop low at night and the kids head off to school, it's evident that the change of seasons is creeping upon us. 

In homage to the season change, I thought it fitting to mimic this transformation.  

Maybe it will be good all the way around.

If not, it's only cosmetic.  At least here on the blog.