2 Year Idaho-versary

2 years ago today, we shut and locked the door to our house in Provo for the last time. Through a veil of tears and trepidation I bid farewell to the first home we had paid a mortgage on and headed North to a new life in Idaho. So many new things lay before us. So many new places to explore and adventures to be had.

2 years ago when we moved up here on Memorial Day weekend the weather was horribly cold and rainy. A bleak welcome to the place we would begin to call home. For the past 3 days as I cursed the cold, dreary rain, it never dawned on me until this morning that it mimicked the weather conditions two years ago.

2 years ago we looked forward to new jobs, a new house and the new baby we would welcome in the coming months.

2 years ago we were unsure of what the future held. But we hoped it would hold great promise and joy. Although we've had our bumpy days, it's turned out so much better that we could ever imagine.



2 years from now...who knows where we'll be. My hope is still in Idaho--loving life and the wonderful things that we have been given.

The Worry Diminishes, for Now

The purpose of this blog is to give me a place to talk about what's on my mind, obviously. At first it was an outlet for the frustrations over the miscarriages and trying to get pregnant; it then morphed into a pregnancy journal of sorts to keep people informed. When KT was born I started her own website and have tried to put the majority of kid-related "stuff" there. I don't want this blog to be about my kid. I want it to be about me as a wife, mother and scientist. There are times when I find myself torn as to whether or not to talk about some things on here in regards to her and my parenting. For no matter how carefully you choose your words, there is always the chance that what you say will hurt someone.

But I know that I need to use this blog as the outlet that it was intended for. So if some of my parenting posts bother readers, I truly am sorry.

Only a handful of people have been aware of one of the biggest issues in our household the last few months. Part of me was embarrassed to talk about it; part of me was trying to downplay it as much as possible. But no matter why the lack of disclosure, the last 10-12 weeks have been wrought with much concern.

At her 15-month check up, KT's pediatrician was concerned that she wasn't walking on her own. We were told that if she wasn't walking within a month that she needed to be evaluated for occupational therapy. Month 16 rolled around and still no walking on her own. She'd walk using her push toys and would walk while holding onto our hands or a piece of furniture, but nothing independently. I was incredibly conflicted on what to do. The average age for children to start walking is varied and every source has a different timeline for when you should be concerned. The more I looked and read, the more confused and concerned I got. So I made an appointment with a 2nd pediatrician in the practice for another opinion. He agreed that she should be walking by that point and recommended an evaluation for OT. He also had concerns about her own hip as her leg kicked out at a considerable angle (even more so than normal) when she stood on her own.

In true fashion, KT took her 1st tentative steps 8 weeks ago, 2 days before her evaluation. The therapist understood the pediatrician's concern but wasn't convinced that there was anything physically wrong. Her thought was that it was purely a confidence/personality issue. Mainly that KT knew how to walk but was choosing not to. To make sure there wasn't anything physically wrong we had her seen by a pediatric orthopedist when he was in town. He also agreed that it was completely personality driven.

Over the last 8 weeks she hasn't shown much improvement in her walking. At most she would take 15-20 steps at a time and then drop to her knees to crawl. She was still only walking a handful of times a day. When my sister was here after my surgery she would walk fantastically for Aunt K. As soon as she left, KT would refuse to walk for me.

With the length of time that had passed since she first took steps, we certainly thought she'd primarily be walking by now. So once again I made an appointment with the therapist to see if there was anything that we could do to encourage her to walk more. The therapist told me that I need to not push so hard to get her to walk because it is turning into a power struggle and she's resisting because she knows I want her to do it (can anyone else see this being problematic in 15 years?? *sigh*). That C is to try to encourage her to walk more.

As a parent this is a hard thing to do. I want to encourage her to walk; I want to help her gain confidence in herself. Janice told me to act like I was ignoring her when she would walk and not try to force her. Be nonchalant and non-committal about it. If I wanted her to walk I should get her to stand up, but make her thing it was her choice and then walk away. In the hopes that she would follow. Try to trick her into walking and making her think it was completely her doing. I suppose that I was encouraging and helping, but indirectly. But for someone who wants to help outright it's a challenge to change your ways.

I'm not sure if it was the threat of seeing the therapist here in our house (she really does like Janice) or the amount of time we've spent outside in the last 10 days (she's not fond of crawling in the grass), but something changed in the last few days. All the sudden she went from primarily crawling to walking 75% of the time! And it's looking more and more like a normal walk. Not the lumbering Frankenstein-ish walk that babies do until they gain confidence in their balance.

I think this has been the first of many situations where we have to understand that KT will do things on her own time. And sometimes pushing her will only result in her dragging her feet.

Note to Self

When working outside all day in the 90 degree sun, it's imperative that you put sunscreen on the underside of your nose. It's amazing how much sunlight reflects off of the soil.

Only Here

Welcome to Idaho.

We don't need no stinkin' trailers.

We just strap our motorbikes to the roof of our cars.

A Photo Tour

Starting to see some progress...











And the newest additions to the yard -- hopefully they'll be planted within the next week!

Same Same, But Different

I'm beginning to think that Old Man Winter and the Dog Days of Summer made a rash decision and opted to bypass Spring. We bounce around from 75 degree weather one day to 30 degrees and snow the next. A stretch of nice weather gets everyone's hopes up that perhaps we will see a glimpse of the transition known as spring. Then the temp jumps up and spring days evaporate like water droplets on the sidewalk in the desert sun.

I've been planning my garden for weeks now. But I have yet to put much in the ground for fear of it being killed. Two weeks ago we spent part of the weekend building a raised planting bed and amending the other flower beds. A gracious friend gave me 6 dozen strawberry starts -- hence the raised bed -- in an attempt to tame her strawberry patch. I planted them on a Monday night while wearing shorts and a short sleeved t-shirt. On Wednesday I woke up to 2 inches of freshly fallen snow and wilted plants. At a week later, about half of them seem to be sprouting new growth; the other half are still crunchy and show no signs of emerging green foliage. I'm afraid that if I don't get the rest of my garden and flowerbeds planted soon, I will be rushing to harvest the fruits of my labor as next winter encroaches.

What I find amusing is how the outside weather dictates our lives in the house so much. Last week when it was so nice outside, the temperature was about 70 degrees in the house. We were dressed in shorts and short sleeves. When we were graced with snow on Wednesday I was dressed in jeans, a long sleeved shirt and a hooded sweatshirt. The furnace was on and the temperature inside the house was still averaging about 70 degrees.

It's funny how something the same can be so different.