Year in Review

We were talking last night about how crazy it is that 2007 is just days away. Where did 2006 go? Looking back I realize that we've definitely had a busy, yet memorable, year.

January

• I was diagnosed with bronchitis and borderline pneumonia just after returning from our trip to Michigan. Had to reschedule my hysteroscopy and D&C.
• The mess of the "reorganization" began at work.

February

• 1st -- Hysteroscopy and D&C.
• 2 frustrating appointments with different RE's.
  
• 19th -- 6 year wedding anniversary and annual trip to Moab.

March

• 12th -- First positive pregnancy test.
• Progesterone injections start.
• Morning sickness kicks in.
• Reorganization at work starting to get really ugly.
  

April

• 5th -- See heartbeat on Ultrasound.
• Trips to ER for morning sickness/dehydration/migraines start.
• Diagnosed with hyperemesis.
  
• 18th -- PICC line inserted.
• C and I start looking for new work opportunities.

May

• New jobs found in Idaho.
• Progesterone injections stopped.
• PICC line comes out.
• Everything we own is packed up and carted off by the moving company.
• We embark on our new lives in Idaho.

June

• I deal with the hassle of the movers.
• I deal with the inconvenience of the condo.
• Waiting on the official job posting for my job.
• Start looking for a house in Idaho.
• Job interview.
  

July

• 20 week ultrasound.
• Still on Zofran for hyperemesis.
• Start job.
• Field Day for work.
• Sold house in Utah.
  
• Offer accepted on house in Idaho.

August

• Swelling starts.
• Travel for my sister's wedding in Michigan.
• Close on house.
• Begin moving in.
• Swelling gets really bad.
• Put on modified bedrest.
• Mother in law comes to help paint.
• My 28th birthday.
  
• Borderline results for glucose tolerance test.
• Baby measuring way ahead.
  

September

• Officially moved into new house.
• Still on Zofran for hyperemesis.
• Swelling continues to be a concern.
• Baby still measuring big.
• Baby breech.
• 21st -- Nephew born.
  
• 23rd -- Baby shower in Detroit.
• Potato Harvest.

October

• Officially an Idaho resident (got Driver's License).
• Still on Zofran for hyperemesis.
• Swelling still a concern.
• Baby still big.
• Baby still breech.
• 16th -- Blood pressure skyrockets.
• Nursery finished.
• Diagnosed with Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (PIH).
• C's 30th Birthday.
• Halloween

November

• 1st -- External version successful, baby no longer breech.
• 10th -- Water breaks.
• 11th -- K born via c-section.
• 14th -- Home from hospital.
• 16th -- Grandma comes to visit for 10 days.
• 23rd -- Thanksgiving.
• 23rd -- In laws come to visit for 10 days.

December

• My sister comes to visit.
• Preparations for the holiday.
• Christmas.
• My boss resigns.
• No idea what will happen with my job.

Wow...quite a busy year. What did you do in 2006?

That Sinking Feeling

You know that horrible feeling you get in the pit of your stomach just before the sh!t really hits the fan? When life gets really ugly before it gets better...

Well, I've got that wonderful feeling.

You know that amazing job opportunity that caused C and I to sell our house in Utah and pick up and move for? That one that allowed me to work with a fantastic boss and have the incredible opportunity to work from home?

That fantastic boss turned in his resignation this morning.

F*ck me.

6 Weeks, already??

It hardly seems that Baby K is 6 weeks old today. Seems like just yesterday that my water broke. Just yesterday when we bundled her up and brought her home from the hospital. Just yesterday that my mom was here for Thanksgiving. But it's been longer than that. Time continues to roll by, filling our days with smiles, tears and wonderful new memories.

Katie is growing, growing, growing. I had to buy new onesies for her the other day, moving up to the 3-9 month ones. The 0-3 month sizes (in the plain white ones) are starting to get snug. To the point where when we snap them at the bottom they pull the neckline down and look silly. Part of it is due to the bulkiness of the cloth diapers (they're definitely not as stream-lined as "sposies") but she's also getting wide enough through the chest and belly that they're tight that way too. Funny thing though, is that most of the onesies that belong to outfits (that are Carter brand, Old Navy, GAP, etc.) in size 0-3 still fit fine. It's just those danged white Gerber ones that are too short. Poor girl is gonna be like her mom and inherit my short legs and like her dad and inherit his longer torso. I'm not sure how much she weighs now or how long she is, but my guess is that she's over 10 pounds now. I keep thinking that I'm going to get out my cloth measuring tape from my sewing box and measure her, but I keep forgetting.

It's been really fun to watch her hair grow too. It's getting super, super light. She's definitely going to be blonde. One of our friends was here from Utah the other day and L said that she looked like she was gonna be strawberry blonde. I could handle that. But her hair is getting longer and longer. The hair on top of her head is probably at least an inch long now and when it's wet it's got beautiful waves/curls to it. I keep hoping that she'll also inherit her dad's curls and the light, bright blonde hair I had as a kid. What mom of a little girl doesn't hope for a beautiful head of blonde curls to play with?

I'm glad to report that I did manage to get Christmas cards out in the mail Wednesday of this week! No gifts for friends (sorry for everyone that's gotten something in the past) but at least cards containing well wishes for the holidays. My shopping for C is done too, thankfully! And just about everything taken care of for family. I know, I know, Christmas is only 2 days from now, but my mom and sisters aren't celebrating until next weekend, so I have a few days to get a couple of things wrapped up. I just can't find this one thing that I'm looking for...doesn't that drive you nuts when that happens?

This week has been busy, filled with outings for shopping and Christmas parties. It's amazing how much more difficult it is to get the family showered, dressed and ready to go outside! I think I really took for granted how easy it was before Katie was born to just jump in the car and run a quick errand. Now it's a much more elaborate ordeal.

We (baby and I) tried to go grocery shopping on Thursday night while C went out to do Christmas shopping. As soon as I walked through the sliding doors at Wally-World, K spit up ALL over. I had the blanket over the top of her infant carrier so I didn't know at first. I put the carrier in the cart, dropped the diaper bag in the main part of the cart (directly underneath the carrier) and pulled the blanket back. Wow! K had spit up just about all of the feeding she ate just before leaving home. It was on the underside of the blanket, all over her jacket and soaked through to her shirt, her mitten was soaked and the best part--it ran down the carrier and out the slots in the bottom where the straps weave through the plastic. It then ran down all over the top of the diaper bag that was sitting underneath. So we trucked our way to the back of the store to the family restroom. Thankfully the diaper bag always contains an extra change of clothes. Twenty minutes later we emerged in fresh, dry clothes (and of course a new diaper) to discover that someone had taken off with our cart. Grrr. Back to the front of the store we went for a new cart and onto our shopping experience. If it wasn't for the fact that our fridge was empty, I probably would have just walked right out to the car and gone home. The joys of going out with an infant...

Well, nursing calls. As usual. I apologize for my lapse. Lately it seems as though my days are blending together and there is very little differentiation between them. Leaving not much of interest to blog about. But I'll try to stay updated, I promise. I'm also trying to put together a site specifically for the baby so this blog can go back to "my" space. Crazy, I know, to try to keep up with two sites but the baby site is also planned for people that I haven't shared this address with...

But I leave you with holiday wishes from the family...

'Tis the Season

Can anyone explain how it all of the sudden got to be the middle of December already? Somehow it's only 11 days from the holiday and I haven't even started decorating, shopping or writing out Christmas cards. Usually by now all 3 projects have been completed and I'm reveling in the fact that I can sit home and enjoy the peace and quiet, watching all of the frantic people rushing to get everything done in time.

Oh, yeah. I had a baby. I guess that explains why I have absolutely nothing done and will be incredibly grateful if everything does get done on time.

I love the holidays and enjoy all of the pre-Christmas "stuff" that needs to get done. C and I tend to disagree on the amount of stuff that I actually do. In a normal year, I address and send out close to 75 Christmas cards, make cookie/candy trays for 10-15 friends and neighbors and shop for around 20 people. The list of card recipients is so numerous because of our tendency to relocate to a new state after a few years. Every move causes the list to grow slightly. Add this to the fact that C has an enormous family and you get the point. It seems too as though the tradition of sending cards is slowly being eroded as every year the amount we receive dwindles. It's sad because I absolutely LOVE getting Christmas cards. The cookie/candy trays were made for the neighbors we were the closest too and then all of the friends that we felt warranted more than just a card. It was easier (and cheaper) for me to spend a Saturday baking and making other goodies than to go out and try to buy gifts for everyone. And gifts -- the number is higher than many people, once again for the amount of C's family we buy for. We have 3 times as many people to buy for on his side than mine!

This year I'm afraid that all of my pre-Christmas activities are going to be pared down considerably. I doubt that I'll do any cookies and candy for the neighbors and the few friends we've made so far here in Idaho. Plus, the card list will be seriously re-evaluated and trimmed down.

I promise, the thought is there and I'm trying as hard as I possibly can to get into the holiday spirit. Please know that I'm thinking of all of you and your families during the holiday season. Even if you don't get a card or a cookie!

Shoes, Shoes, My Wonderful Shoes

This is probably going to seem like a trivial post but it's something that has been a real joy in my life the past week or so. I know that some of you will understand completely.

Obviously, I had some horrible, horrible swelling when I was pregnant with KT. One of the most frustrating aspects of the swelling was finding shoes that fit my growing feet. Many of you probably remember me struggling to find shoes for my sister's wedding. It had gotten to the point at the end of my pregnancy where the only shoes that fit were either size 10 wides (I normally wear an 8) or this one pair of black flip-flops that I had stretched the heck out of.

I was so afraid that my feet wouldn't totally go back to normal size after having the baby. I've talked to many women who end up needing shoes a 1/2 or full size larger after giving birth. By no means do I have a phenomenal shoe collection, but what I have has taken me a couple of years to put together. After my last job, where I had to dress up--business casual--I finally got to the point where I had most of the basics down. You know, a variety of styles in enough colors/shades to compliment just about any outfit choice. Including a couple of pairs that I absolutely loved. I've fretted since mid-summer that I'd have to start building my shoe collection all over again.

Good news though!

Although a couple of pairs are slightly more snug than before, so far I can get my feet back into all of my favorites! Yay! C was laughing at me the other day as I ran around the house, clad in pj's, with one of my favorite pairs of heels on. I'm sure that it was a sight to see. So now I yearn for a reason to put my favorite dress pants on (which are slightly too big right now, as opposed to a touch too tight) just so that I can wear my wonderful shoes.

I am silly, I know. But it really is the small things in life that can make you smile.

Chunky AND Snotty

A trip to the pediatrician's office yesterday confirmed two things.

#1, baby girl is gaining weight the way they want her to. She weighed in yesterday at almost 9 pounds. The scale teetered between 8 pounds 15 ounces and 9 pounds. That calculates to 6 ounces gained in 6 days -- right on track. Average weight gain should be 5-7 ounces for "non-formula fed" infants.

#2, baby girl has a "little bit" of a cold. She's been snotty for a few days now and it had started to affect her nursing. She would only eat for 10-15 minutes at a time but then wanted to eat every 45 minutes to an hour. Plus she's all snorty and gaggy and incredible fussy. The snorty/gaggy aspect had gotten to the point where she'd wake herself up because she couldn't breathe very well. Good news is that it hasn't gone into her chest or her ears. Bad news is that we just have to ride out the snottiness, crankiness, frequent nursings and constant need/want to be held.

So, both good and bad "news" from yesterday's visit. I'm extremely happy about the weight gain -- I was afraid they'd recommend we start supplementing her with formula. And as for the cold, it is winter and to be expected. Hopefully it clears up quickly. Plus, I really don't mind an excuse to comfort/pamper my little one even more.

22 Days Post-Partum

It's hard to believe that little Kathryn is now just over three weeks old. It's even harder to figure out where all my time goes during the day. I realize that I'm not doing a very good job of keeping up to date with anyone. E-mails, phone calls and blog updates get bypassed for showers, naps and tending to baby girl.

So here's the scoop on what's been going on...

We're actually on our own again, since just after Kathryn was born. My mom spent ten days with us and my in-laws spent nine. It was wonderful to have family here, especially for Thanksgiving. It's been a long time (since 1999) that we spent Turkey Day with anyone other than friends. It was great too to have the extra hands around here to help with meals, housework and holding Kathryn while I took a shower. Kathryn and I will be on our own during the day, until my sister gets here on Friday. So there's a good chance that we'll both still be in our jammies when C gets home from work tomorrow!

Physically I'm doing really well -- minus the sleep deprivation. My incision has healed really, really nicely. I still have numbness around the site but am told that will last quite a while until the nerves heal (if they ever do completely). I really forget that I had major surgery 3 weeks ago and find myself quite often doing more than I should be. I'm also surprised that I'm down at least 15 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. I haven't done anything at all to lose any weight. If anything, I eat junk way too often because it's the easiest thing to grab out of the cabinet. But the weight keeps dropping and I'm fitting nicely into jeans that I used to have to squeeze myself into. My blood pressure has come down too so I'm weaning off of the medication.

Kathryn is doing really well too. She's still a really great baby and fusses very little. Although I will say that when she does get cranky, watch out because she's a real bear! I think that we've both gotten the hang of nursing. One pitfall is that she's still slightly below her birthweight so her doctor is recommending that I feed her every two hours during the day. By the time you wake her up, nurse off of one side, burp her, change her diaper, nurse off the other side, burp her and change her again, then get her settled back down, it's taken 60-90 minutes. So we're looking at only 30 minutes sometimes until the process starts ALL over again. Thankfully though, when she goes down around 11pm she sleeps a good 5-6 hours straight so C and I can get a solid chunk of sleep to start the night off with.

It's amazing how much she's changed in three weeks already and how much I see she's grown. Even if the scale isn't showing a tremendous increase in her weight. We very much enjoy our naptimes together mid-afternoon



and I absolutely love watching her with her dad. The two of them melt my heart.



After all the heartache, headaches and struggles we went through to get to this point, it makes me appreciate her all that much more.

New(er) Pics

All bundled up and getting ready to come home from the hospital.

Hanging out with mom after nursing.

Introducing the "boys" to Kathryn.

Chillin' in the swing.

Dad had too much time on his hands...

We're Home

We were sprung from the joint on Tuesday and are settling in well here at home. Kathryn is a very mellow baby and only fusses when she's hungry or needs to be changed. Nursing is going well, although it can be very frustrating and challenging at times. But we're getting the hang of it and learning more about one another every day.

I've learned two things this week. The first being that bringing a new baby into the world allows your heart to expand infinitely. I never knew it was possible to love C and our daughter so incredibly much. The second is that your body continues to plug on even when pushed to its limits. Exhaustion has taken on a whole new meaning. There have been times the past two days where I've fallen asleep while sitting on the couch eating.

We've got a ton of pictures that need to be pulled off the computer and posted. I'll try to do that sometime today between the napping and gazing lovingly at my family.

Pictures

The Big Update

Ok, it's official. Little Baby S has made HER way into the world. She arrived this afternoon weighing in at 8 pounds 10 ounces, is 19 1/2 inches and IS A GIRL!!!!!!! So, all of us who were thinking boy were a little off. Sounds like Mommy did great, but is beyond exhausted. Daddy sounds happy and proud. I even got to hear a few sounds from the newest member of the family, I do believe the beautiful chosen name is still Kathryn Elizabeth. Congrats Mommy & Daddy!!!!!!!!

Update #2

Hello again. I heard from Cris and wanted to give another quick update. Mandy had some great progress yesterday but it sounds like last night and this morning were no walk in the park. She regressed from 4cm back to 2cm and had to start Pitocin. She soldiered through it until this afternoon when she had an Epidural. I heard from them about a half an hour ago saying that the babies heart was a little erratic and the doctors thought it best to do an C-section. It is not an emergency section, but it sounds like everything is moving quite fast.

Hopefully we will be getting some wonderful news soon!

Update #1

Hello All, this is Amanda's friend Kristen. I spoke with her a little while ago and have a quick update. She went to the hospital around 4:30 and they found that she was about 2 cm dilated. A little before 9:00 she was already 4cm dilated. She sounded comfortable and said that the contractions were no worse than bad menstrual cramps. She and C had done a little walking around to try to speed things along, which seems to be working. They are hoping to avoid having to use Pitocin. I will update as soon as I get any more information.

Baby is coming!

My water broke about 2:30 this afternoon, totally surprising the crap out of both C and I. I am now at the hospital and here for the duration. Contractions are 4-5minutes apart but I'm only dilated a couple of centimeters.

I'm guessing we'll have a baby by Sunday morning at the latest!

With a wireless connection here at the hospital, either C or I will post updates when we can!

Slight Change

I've had a couple of people comment to me (either through phone calls or e-mails) that they noticed that Kristen of Expecting a Baby...Someday has been added as a contributor to this blog. This was done in case Butterball makes his/her arrival and I need someone to post an update for me. My plan is to take my laptop with us to the hospital but C thinks that I won't want to take it out of its case. Seriously, what is he thinking?? But if something was to come up quickly, I wanted a fellow Blogger to have access to keep everyone else informed.

It wasn't a matter of choosing favorites. Kristen is just the easiest to get ahold of because of her job and lack of children. However, after this week's turn of events, I might not ever be able to rouse her from a slumber. It's hard work when your body is taking care of that many babies!

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, take a quick swing by her blog and wish her congrats. They're experiencing triple the excitement right now!

Bottom's Up!

The baby flipped for us at the version today! Yay!

I'm tired and sore but wanted everyone to know. I'll post more soon.

Head's Up!

Still.

Obviously this kid is its Dad's offspring as it has a horrible sense of direction!

The OB that I saw yesterday recommended that I try the external version, as long as I was comfortable with the accompanying discomfort. He said that on first time moms the success rate isn't as high because the uterus isn't as "stretchy" but he still felt optimistic about the procedure. Especially since Butterball shows no sign of engaging in my pelvis.

So we're scheduled for 2pm tomorrow, November 1st, in the Labor & Delivery ward at the hospital. They'll do an ultrasound to begin with to check to make sure baby is still bum-down and an NST to check fetal heart tones. If everything checks out okay he'll attempt 3 times to get the baby to spin. He'll grab the bum with one hand and "lift" it up out of the pelvic cavity. Using the other hand he'll try to make the baby do a forward summersault or a backwards one. Just depending on which way it seems the baby wants to go. If successful I'll be allowed to leave and they'll let labor start on its own, with weekly NST's to check on Butterball. If unsuccessful we'll discuss a c-section as they won't try to turn the baby at a later time. Either way, I'll stay monitored in L&D for a while after the procedure to make sure everything looks alright with both me and the little one.

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed today. Mostly at the thought that if something goes wrong tomorrow then we'll be coming home from the hospital with the little one on the outside. Which means we'd better put the car seat in the car and pack my bag tonight, just in case. I also feel like there is stuff here around the house that needs to be done too. My OCD would flare up incredibly if I was to leave tomorrow knowing that my house is dirty and not organized. Obviously I can't get everything done tonight and tomorrow morning but I'd at least like it to be "presentable". I'm a freak, I know.

As for the other specifics of yesterday's appointment--everything looked good. My blood pressure was still elevated but without any other pre-eclampsic symptoms, the OB wasn't overly concerned. My weight is actually down 5 pounds from last week and the loss was attributed to fluctuations in water retention/swelling. Baby is still measuring a little bit bit but nothing to be overly concerned with either. The OB said that I'd measure a little big ahead, based upon external measurements, becuase of Butterball being breeched. Overall the OB said that I'm doing great, all things considered. He did laugh though and said that he'd be surprised if I ever decided to get pregnant again, after the track record of my last 8 months.

Here's yesterday's 37 week belly pic. And although I won't post the bare belly shot here to prove this next statement, I've been fortunate to not get ANY stretch marks at all.

Hiccups

Check this out. It might take a while to load for some of you, but I thought it was pretty neat. It's easiest to see if you watch the tips of my fingers.

Silly me forgot to turn on the macro function on the camera though so its a little blurry. It's hard to take video of yourself!

I took the password off my photobucket site. Hopefully it will work now.

No Such Luck

Ultrasound shows baby is large for its size. Estimating weight to be 7lbs 8oz, head and abdomen circumference off the charts.

Amniotic fluid levels are good but on the higher side of the range.

Baby is still breech.

Blood pressure once again slightly elevated. No protein in urine.

Lots of words tossed around -- c-section, induction, external version.

Re-evaluation appointment on Monday to discuss options.

Speechless

Um. Yeah.

This is what we woke to this morning.





I'm not ready for this change in weather. I guess that just means we're that much closer to bringing Butterball home. I've been saying the baby couldn't be born until after the first snow.

PIH not Pre-e

A call from the nurse on Thursday last week relayed the dianosis of pregnancy-induced hypertension (PIH), not pre-eclampsia like the doctor had originally thought. It just means that my blood pressure has gone up without the other symptoms of pre-eclampsia. I'm to continue monitoring my pressure here at home and go into the office if it spikes up or if it's high and accompanied by other symptoms -- headache, pain in abdomen, change in vision, etc.

It's been holding steady at about 130/85. Still high for me but under the values the office considers "high".

My 36 week appointment is on Wednesday and I'll have an ultrasound to check baby's size and position. Keep your fingers crossed for a healthy (but not huge) size and head down!

Butterball's Room

I figured that since Butterball's arrival is approaching quickly that I really should get some pictures of the nursery up for everyone to see. I don't want Grandma to see it for the first time when she flies to Idaho in a few weeks! The lighting hasn't been the greatest the past couple of days again -- it's been cloudy and grey here so I apologize that the quality isn't the best. The room isn't quite finished either. There is still a bunch of little stuff that I need to buy (hamper, laundry basket, storage baskets for the closet, etc.) and the glider isn't in the room. Once it does get moved downstairs it will go to the left of the window. For now it's going to stay in the master bedroom. When the baby first comes home from the hospital it will sleep in the bassinet of the pack 'n play in our room. So I figured I might as well keep the glider close to where ever Butterball will be sleeping.

Enjoy!!

I have tie-backs for the curtain panels but silly me forgot to buy something to attach them to the wall with. There will also be horizontal blinds on the window at some point too (hopefully this weekend). The quilt hanging over the end of the crib is the one that my mom made.

The bumper still needs to go on the front rail of the crib. I've just left it off for now in order to get better pictures of the crib sheet.

Close up of the crib sheet. It turned out to be much higher quality than I figured it would be. I also have a jersey sheet in yellow and some other crib sheets in white for backups.

The dust ruffle is hard to see because the mattress is at the highest position for now. I'm sure that it will look much better as the baby gets bigger and we have to drop the mattress down into lower positions.

The matching lamp that goes with the bedding set and curtains.
The way cute light fixture that I got on CLEARANCE from Home Depot for $15!
View of the closet. The nursery itself is actually quite small so there is a lot that will go into the closet and keep the room organized. Hopefully.

Up close shot of the diapering/bathing "stuff". And Logan of course. The dogs like to go into the closet and sniff all of the smelly baby products.

All of our homemade baby blankies/quilts. The three on the left are all from the same friend of the family. Two of which she made when I was a baby (the top and bottom) and the middle one is the new one she made for Butterball. I thought it would be really fun to be able to use two generations of quilts from her. The beige blanket on the top of the middle stack was the receiving blanket my mom used to bring ME home from the hospital!

And of course, the obligatory picture of the older "brothers". They love going into the nursery and checking out all the new stuff in there. Hopefully they'll adjust well (or as good as possible) when we bring the baby home from the hospital.

Not Much to Report

I managed to get an appointment for 8:30 this morning at the doctor's office. They took my BP as soon as I got there and it was 140/90. Down a little from where it was when I took it myself but still too high. 140/90 is what most places classify as the lower end of "high" blood pressure.

They put me in a room for a few minutes and then rechecked my BP again. Still 140/90 and by now they've discovered "traces" of protein in my urine. The doc came in (not my usual OB but another one in the practice) and after a few minutes of questions, he thinks that it's the start of pre-eclampsia. If my BP stays on the lower end though it will be considered a mild case.

They drew blood, instructed me on how to collect a 24-hour urine sample and then hooked me up to the NST for about 30 minutes to monitor contractions and the baby. As usual, the little stinker decided not to move for the first 15 and then started kicking up a storm. I had a couple of contractions that registered on the monitor but nothing that the doctor is concerned over. Overall, baby's heartrate looked really good and I was allowed to leave.

No official diagnosis until the bloodwork and 24-hr urine sample is analyzed. Doc said to come home and rest today, giving me a list of symptoms to watch for.

The fun never ends...

Thar She Blows...

I haven't felt the greatest for the past couple of days, so on a whim last night I checked my blood pressure. 146/84. Not good.

This morning I checked it again on the hope that a decent night's sleep (if that's possible while pregnant) would bring it down somewhat. Nope. 145/98. Definitely not good.

The on-call doctor didn't seem that worried and told me to call back when the office opens this morning and to make an appointment to be seen today. I'll update when I know anything more.

Big Baby

I had my 34 week OB appointment on Tuesday and I realized earlier that I still hadn't posted an update here for everyone.

BP: 120/68.
Weight: same as 31wk appointment, total weight gain so far is 28 pounds.
Swelling: "Much better" according to my OB, but still present.
Fundal height: between 38 and 39 weeks.

Yup. Butterball is once again measuring WAY ahead. My OB is slightly concerned and has scheduled an ultrasound for the 25th to get a better look at the baby. She said that it could just be increased amniotic fluid around the baby, but better to be safe than sorry.

Overall, my doctor is extremely pleased with how everything is progressing. Although she'd rather I wasn't still needing to take the Zofran daily, she sympathizes and won't force me to wean myself before labor and delivery. She's glad to see that my blood pressure is good, that the swelling hasn't progressed (and has actually gotten better) and that I've gained an appropriate amount of weight all things considered. Normally she'd be concerned that a patient hadn't gained any weight between appointments. Especially at this point in a pregnancy when typical weight gain is 1/2 to a full pound a week. But she think I am gaining weight but losing water weight at the same time so it's evening out.

One other concern though is that Butterball is still breech. Head still up high, stuck in my ribs just below my heart. At the ultrasound we'll check to see if baby has turned and gone "head down". If not we'll discuss options at that point. After a few long conversations with C (and many, many hours of reading websites and childbirth books) I've come to the decision that I want to go through labor and delivery med-free. I'm not trying to be heroic, it's just something that I believe in and want to do. A breech baby could seriously complicate this hope.

So in the meantime I'm drinking lots of water to keep plenty of amniotic fluid around the baby, going to the chiropractor to loosen up my back and pelvis and doing all sorts of crazy poses and natural remedies to try to encourage this little one to flip around. Let's hope that something works in the next 12 days and baby settles nicely into my pelvis for the remainder of its confinement.

A girl can hope, can't she?

Sober Conversations

I'm sure there are a couple of you who know immediately who this post is going to be about, before I even delve into it.

There are a couple of things that I don't talk about much, if at all, here on this blog. Not necessarily because I'm ashamed or embarrassed of them or because I don't want anyone to know. It's mainly because the issue can be so exhausting at times that it's not worth expending the energy to get it all "out" and written down.

One of those things being my dad and our relationship. To truly understand the situation you need to know him personally and to experience some of the interactions firsthand.

To give you some of the basics:

• My parents divorced when I was 8. Mom had primary custody of the three of us girls.
• Dad was (and still is) only involved in our lives when it was convenient for him, or when it made him look good--awards night at school, band concerts, graduations, weddings, etc.
• He told me once when I was at Michigan State that he didn't understand much of what I did; he didn't understand why I wanted to do the things I chose to do. Because of that, he couldn't really support my decisions.
• His temper is horrible. I've seen him do things that some people could only imagine.
• And probably the most significant aspect of our relationship--he's an alcoholic. He'll never admit it but he is.

All of those things combine to make an extremely volatile situation, at times. He can be the most ignorant person and make the most ignorant comments. But because of his temper, many people never say anything to him about it. So he continues on as he is.

A few years ago, the two of us had a major confrontation that changed the dynamic of our relationship considerably. My sister, A, and I were down at the farm to see him. I was living in Utah at the time, had been out West for about a year. He started on my sister about something and being the over-protective older sister that I am, I immediately got directly between the two of them. Literally. I physically put myself behind him and her so he couldn't continue to talk to her like he was doing. The situation quickly escalated and it ended with A and I driving away with many things unresolved. It was the first time that I had stood up to him and I think it shocked him considerably. We didn't speak the rest of the time I was in Michigan and for months after I came back to Utah. Since then, he's been somewhat better with the things he says to me. Somewhat.

When my other sister got married in August, there was some really hurtful things that got said and done on his part. Since then, I've only talked to him a couple of times and the conversations have been really short.

I guess I should explain too that most of our conversations take place later at night. This is due to the time difference between Idaho and Michigan and due to his schedule. He's a dairy farmer (one that's too stubborn to hire extra help) and he usually works until 10 or 11 at night, easily. Most times, I don't even try to call him until it's 8:30pm here, 10:30pm there. Which means he's had all day to stew in his Natural Light.

Yesterday he called me out of the blue, first thing in the morning. He was outside feeding the young calves and got to thinking about me and the baby. Although not incredibly long, our 10 or 15 minute conversation was nice. It was actually light hearted and he asked me questions about my job, the house and the pregnancy. Usually he does all the talking--about the weather, problems on the farm, etc. Rarely asking many questions about us. Rarely asking questions about the baby.

I've thought all along that he'd be excited to be a grandpa. When I had the miscarriage in May 2005 he cried on the phone when I told him. He seemed genuinely concerned about my health and tried to follow all the infertility treatments I was going through. When I got pregnant this time, he seemed to withdraw. Perhaps he was afraid to show his excitement because of what happened 18 months ago. Who knows. But it's really bothered me that he's been so blase about the baby.

So yesterday felt really good to have a real, sober conversation with him. Maybe it will be the only one like it that I have for a while. But at least I have that one for now.

It's Official

In the 12 years that I've been of legal driving age, I've had driver's licenses from 4 different states.

Michigan.
Wisconsin.
Utah.
Idaho.

I told C the other day that state #5 was not making its appearance anytime soon! This moving around is getting tiring. I can only imagine how much more difficult it will be with kids.

On the flip side though. C thought he was all big and bad because he only missed 2 questions on the written exam for his license. That's all I heard everytime we were in the car for the 10 days between when he got his and when I finally had the chance to make it into the County Office for mine.

It felt so good to have this conversation:

C: So, how did the test go?
M: Fine.
C: Did you pass?
M: Yup.
C: Didn't do as good as me, huh? (With a huge smirk on his face.)
M: Nope. Pausing for about 5 seconds. I didn't get any wrong.
C: You suck.

Baby Shower

My apologies for the delay. Every time I sat down at the computer over the weekend my brain went foggy and I just couldn't string enough words together to make coherent sentences. This morning isn't proving to be much more produtive but I know that I can't keep dragging my feet on this project.

So here's some of what I have...


Me trying to stay off my feet as long as possible before the guests started arriving. I asked everyone to not take any pictures below my knees, but I'm not sure how well they listened!



Me with the gifts about halfway through opening everything. No one thought to take any pictures of all the "loot" before we got started. As you can see in this picture, my legs are starting to swell up. I look forward to having my own ankles back after the baby is born!



The "gang". My 3 closest friends from High School and college. And Miss V, of course!



"Aunt" A, holding up the swing I got from my dad and step-mom. She hosted the shower at her house and I stayed with her the entire time I was in Detroit. Everytime I got up off the couch or tried to do anything, she would act like my mom and tell me to sit down! It was good though, I'm sure she kept my swelling to a minimum.



The beautiful quilt that my mom made. The color (yellow) matches the walls in the nursery perfectly. Must have been "grandma's intuition" as she picked out the fabrics long before C and I decided on a paint color.



Great baby gear that says Michigan State on it and has a cow! I figured that Bean would be our MSU "hook up". C wants to make sure early on that this baby appreciates its "roots"!



The whole family after the hub-bub had settled down. After feeling so huge in all of my sister's wedding pictures, I made the girls stand next to me and tried to minimize my width!



And of course, the star of the day--Miss Victoria! I don't think my mom won any points by sneaking her frosting when Kristin wasn't looking.



For those of you who were at the shower -- thank you so much for making the drive and spending your afternoon with us! It was great to see everyone and spend time together.

For my mom and sisters -- thank you so much for doing all that you did to pull the shower together. Thanks, A, for opening up your house to everyone. All three of you did way more than necessary.

And for everyone -- thank you for all of the gifts that have been bought and sent. C and I are so very lucky to have such wonderful friends and family. Your love and support are truly amazing! This baby is very blessed to have such amazing people in its life!

Surviving Spuds

I've been working potato harvest the last two days, hence my lack of posts. Was hoping for a reprieve today and a lazy morning. Unfortunately the boss just called, woke me up and ruined my plans. Looks like I'm working down at the experiment station again today.

I'll try to get some pictures from the shower posted over the weekend.

Alive and Kicking

Just wanted to let everyone know that I made it safely to Detroit yesterday. Nothing much else to report. Flight went well, just wore me out.

The shower is tomorrow at 3pm. I'll try to have someone take pictures with my digital camera and get them posted on Monday or Tuesday.

My sil-in-law (Baby Bailey) gave birth to my nephew yesterday morning at 8am! Welcome, Dylan Matthew to our family!

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

Even though the doctor doesn't "understand why [I'd] want to go to Detroit this weekend, [he doesn't] see any reason why [I] can't go".

Hell. Yeah.

Obviously my appointment went fairly well this morning. My weight has come down 4 pounds since my appointment 3 weeks ago and the doctor noted that the swelling has "significantly improved", although still occuring. My blood pressure was good considering the doctor was running 45 minutes late. Baby's heartbeat was nice and strong and the baby is measuring on track now--between 31 and 32 weeks. So no ultrasound today, but that's okay. C didn't go with me to the appointment and I feel bad getting to see the baby without him.

For those that don't know the significance of the "all-clear" on the travel--my baby shower is at my sister's house in Detroit on Saturday. We've had it planned now for almost two months and I've had airline tickets booked almost as long. I was devastated at my last appointment when I was told that it was "unlikely" that I'd be able to travel for it.

So...come 8:00am on Thursday morning, Delta flight #3760 will have me securely buckled into one of its seats, beginning my journey...

I'm leaving, on a jet plane...(come on Bean, I know you know the words...)

Excuse Me While I Rant

There are three people in my life that truly deserve to be mothers. Without a doubt, they would be the kind of parents that make others jealous. They'd raise smart, articulate, well-mannered children that would grow up to be upstanding citizens of this country. Probably citizens that would try to make a difference in whatever way they possibly could. Problem is, all three of these women struggle cycle after cycle with some sort of infertility. Bringing them continued disappointment, heartache, frustration and continued struggles. The three of them are at very different junctions in their journeys but all have experienced the devastating heartache of a miscarriage, or miscarriages.

IT. SUCKS.

Why is it that the most deserving are sometimes the ones who have the hardest struggles? Why should they be faced with the challenges they are when so many others are blessed with children when they're in less than ideal situations?

I know this is a sticky topic. I'm sure there are plenty of people who will flame me for it, albeit silently. Saying that everyone has the right to be blessed with children. Saying that I have no right to judge. And I totally agree. Everyone has the right to experience parenthood. But I also think that the right should be exercised only when those people are mature enough and responsible enough to handle their offspring. And I know, I shouldn't judge. But at times it's really difficult not to get irritated by how the cards of fate are dealt sometimes.

Living in Provo and being surrounded by BYU students really ruffled my feathers now and again. I met numerous people who's sole intention was to get married and immediately start a family. Didn't seem like a big deal at first, it was obviously their choice. But once I started to look at the logistics I started to get riled up. Common scenario--couple gets married while still in school. Wife gets pregnant right away, either quits taking classes and stays home with baby or continues education (usually the first option). Husband continues in school, working a part-time job to support his ever-growing family. After graduation, husband typically continues on for an advanced degree. Doctor, dentist, lawyer, Ph.D...you get the picture. Through this, wife continues to have more kids. So where is the money coming from? How do you support a family on a 25 or 30 hour a week part-time job?

There were times when I was in grad-school living on a stipend that equated to a full-time $8/hour job, that C and I were struggling to make ends meet. I couldn't imagine living on that solely and supporting children as well. So one time, I got the courage to ask a friend who was newly married and newly pregnant (and had quit school to be a stay at home mom) how they were going to make ends meet. Her husband barely worked 25 hours at a job that I knew couldn't pay more than $7 or $8/hour. She looked me square in the eye and without batting an eyelash or skipping a beat, she replied, "welfare, of course". They had PLANNED to go on assistance so she could stay home and they could have a family. I'm sure that I was speechless.

So why is it that people like this pop kids out like nothing? They never struggle with fertility issues or perhaps the morality of the situation. But here I have these friends that all have great educations, stable marriages, good incomes and are READY for a family. They get slapped in the face with trying for years, invasive medical procedures, horrible financial commitments, miscarriages and heartache.

Where is the fairness in this? How come there isn't some Darwinistic system in place that causes temporary infertility in couples that aren't ready, that aren't capable of supporting children? That automatically "lifts" when their situation changes.

I suppose that would make life all too easy. I know that we're all given challenges in life for one reason or another. It just seems that some people are un-necessarily given more than their fair share.

It appears as though my rant has been tempered somewhat as I sit and write. It's been watered down considerably. Where I was intitally inflamed about these situations when I first sat down, I feel as though now my thoughts are of a more reflective nature. Don't get me wrong, it still upsets me.

These women deserve a break from the heartache. They deserve to be given the opportunity to experience parenthood. They deserve to have the easy road for a change. I know that our road to parenthood hasn't been easy for us, but it seems as though it's been a walk in the park compared to what they've faced.

If I could, I'd give anything I have to change their situations. Perhaps it sounds cheesy, but I hope that all know that.

Smarter than the Average Bear

Even though I'm constantly saying to C, "they're just dogs", at times they really do catch me off-guard with their intelligence.

A few minutes ago I was sitting here at the computer just after I had let both dogs in from the backyard. Logan (the younger of the two) comes up to me and starts annoying me, looking for attention. He has this habit that when you're sitting down, and he wants attention, he raises himself up so his fronts paws are on your thighs and his back legs are on the floor. Kinda like he's trying to climb into your lap but not quite. Then he starts to lick your face, your hands, the keyboard...anything he can get his tongue close to.

To oblige him, I usually scratch him behind the ears for a minute and give him a big hug. Then not so gently push him away and tell him to "go play". Just after I started scratching just now, Dakota (the older dog) grabs the empty Gatorade bottle that Logan has been chewing on since Monday night. He does this thing where he taunts Logan with it, chomping down on it while it's in his mouth to make as much noise as possible. Telling Logan that he has his toy. As soon as Logan hears that Dakota has the bottle, he immediately wants nothing to do with me anymore and goes tearing across the room to get the bottle.

Not surprisingly, at the exact moment that Logan is halfway between me and the bottle, Dakota drops it and sprints over to me. So that he can get his turn to have his ears scratched.

Dumb?

Nah.

I think my dogs are way smarter than I give them credit for.

What 10 Weeks Will Do

Wow. That's all I've got to say on the matter.




And ...my mirror was clean this time!

And...I promise, although the tank top is probably the same, the shorts are different.

Almost Forgotten

I'm not sure exactly what caused it, but something jogged my memory this morning. It reminded me that I had never posted any pictures from my sister's wedding a month ago. Oops. So I figured that I had better get that done before I totally forgot. Problem is, C went to Utah for the weekend to go elk hunting (no flames, please) and I think he took the digital camera with him. And most of the pictures that we took are still on the memory card. Second oops.

But I'll post what I have saved on my computer.

The new "family". My sister's husband has a son from a previous marriage.


My fam-damily. L to R -- My youngest sister, my Dad, bride (middle sister) and groom, my mom and then myself (oldest sister).


Baby sister, pregnant me and my Dad.


Mom and Mom-To-Be.


Baby sis and I.


C and I. (Which I'm surprised we remembered to take a picture of us together. We just about always forget to do that when we're dressed up somewhere.)

Update

I'm here, I'm here. Everything is okay, I promise. Thank you to everyone who has shown concern--sending e-mails, leaving comments and making phone calls. Life has just been extremely hectic lately.

My apologies for my absence. We ended up with a couple of day extension at the condo and it rushed by much faster than we expected. Before I knew it, it was Saturday afternoon and C was packing up the computer. Ahhh! Before I could post, no less.

Due to a snafu with Qwest (insert a string of profanities here...) we don't have our DSL at the new house until Friday when a service tech can come out and flip some switch out on the box. Which means that I'm either hanging out at the library to check my e-mail or dragging myself to campus to sit in front of a computer. Either way, it requires me to take a shower and make myself presentable. Both of which take more time and energy than I seem to have most days.

Healthwise -- not much new to report. I've upped my protein intake as much as I possibly can and have cut down as much as I possibly can on salt. Considering I only have a microwave and a single glass bowl to use to cook with right now, the salt aspect has not been easy. Thanks for all the suggestions on things to watch for though, they are greatly appreciated.

Trista -- I have found that the lower fat cheeses contain more sodium so I scour all the packages while at the grocery store to find one with the lower sodium content. At this point, I've not overly concerned about my fat intake (within limits).

WendyLou -- Thanks for the tip on the distilled water. Perhaps I'll grab some of that. My soda intake has been cut down considerably. I found out the hard way a couple weeks ago that ANYTHING with caffeine in it, no matter what time of day I drank it, kept me up until all hours of the night. So if I drink any soda it's usually Sprite or something else non-caffeinated.

The swelling hasn't gone down per se in intensity, but it has gone down in frequency. I'm trying my hardest to stay off my feet as much as possible. Once I have DSL at the house and I get my laptop (insert string of profanities here as well...) it will make this much, much easier to do. It amazes me how quickly my ankles disappear when I am up and moving around. My blood pressure is still fine as well. This morning it was 112/65 and I continue to monitor it a couple of times a day.

Housewise -- Progress is occurring, albeit much slower than both C and I would like. The holiday weekend was spent putting up new lights, ceiling fans, etc. Not much painting got done. Hopefully C will be able to get the washer and dryer put in tomorrow night so that I can do laundry again. We only have one room (the nursery) left to paint downstairs and finish off with the entire downstairs trim and a couple of closets. Then touch-ups through the house. It's still a decent amount of work. And we know that it seems like it has taken a lot of time to accomplish what we have. But we continue to remind ourselves that we're painting almost the ENTIRE house and most of the rooms have needed two coats of paint. We didn't expect this to be a weekend project.

Well, that's about all I have at the moment. I feel so disconnected right now. Hopefully that will be solved by the end of the weekend.

Thanks again to everyone for the support and concern. I'll update again when I'm back up and running -- my computer, that is.

120/72 and Stonewalled

My appointment was on Monday, but I haven't felt like sitting down and writing this all out. Which is why it's 2 days late in coming.

I passed my Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT) but only by one point. For those that don't know, for the GTT you drink this really sugary drink (50mg glucose) in five minutes. Then they make you wait an hour and they do a finger "prick" to check your insulin level. My doctor's office puts the cutoff at 140. If you're at or above that level they make you do the horrible 3 hour test. My insulin was 139 after the hour. I'm to watch my carb intake and the Nurse Practitioner I met with "will discuss it with my OB". Translation -- I'll probably have to take the 3 hour test considering everything else going on.

My swelling is not getting any better. I gained another 4 pounds between last Thursday and Monday. My face is starting to puff up and the swelling is up above my knees now. My hands are all swelled up and go numb at random times. The swelling goes down somewhat at night or if I sit for a couple of hours with my feet elevated. The problem is then that the tissue has been so compressed due to the fluids that everything feels bruised. I can barely move because the muscles in my arms and legs are so sore. I'm to switch to a no-salt diet.

My iron is low, enough that I'm technically anemic. They want me to take iron pills as well as my prenatal vitamins. I promised to work on my diet first and we'll check my iron again at my next appointment. Iron pills don't sound like much fun to my digestive system, if you know what I mean.

My albumin is "terribly" low. Pregnant women generally have lower albumin levels but mine is just about bottomed out. Albumin in your blood cells holds the water in your cells. When it's low, the fluid leaks into the tissue causing swelling. I'm to up my protein intake (but make sure it's no-salt). They recommended drinking protein shakes, eating hard boiled eggs, string cheese, etc.

The baby is still measuring way ahead. I have an ultrasound scheduled in 3 weeks at my next appointment (I'll be 31 weeks along) to get a more accurate reading. They're still really concerned that the baby is all of the sudden measuring that far ahead.

Because of all of the above, I'm on modified bed-rest. I'm to stay off my feet as much as necessary. Limiting myself to getting out of the house for doctor's appointments, work related trips and very little else. As for helping getting into the house -- no lifting or moving boxes and no absolutely no painting. At that next appointment, the situation will be re-evaluated. If the swelling hasn't improved I'll go on full bedrest.

To top it all off, Monday was my birthday. What a cruddy way to spend your day. I came home from the appointment and just cried. Then spent the night alone, on the couch, as C was over at the new house trying to get stuff done.

I think this is one birthday that I'd like to forget about. Or at least "do" over.

120/75 and Still Swelling

** I apologize that this may be old news for some of you. This is the first chance that I've had to update here on the blog. **

Thursday morning of last week, the 24th, I broke down and called the doctor's office about the edema. It had been improving at night. I would wake up in the morning and my ankles would look like they were normal size, although sore from the previous day's swelling. When I woke up Thursday morning it wasn't much better than the night before and the swelling had moved into my arms. My hands were randomly falling asleep and it was painful to flex my fingers. The swelling was also so bad in my right leg that I couldn't bend my knee or barely life my leg off the ground. I figured it was time to be seen by someone.

Upon checking my vitals at the appointment, it was quickly ruled out that the edema is NOT related to toxemia. Thankfully. My blood pressure is still really good and there was no protein when they ran the urinalysis. Unfortunately my weight had jumped 12 pounds in 3 weeks; much of which the nurse was attributing to the water retention. The baby was also measuring slightly over 32 weeks (based on fundal height). The nurse practitioner that I met with was concerned about the swelling, the weight gain and the jump in the baby's measurement.

They drew some blood so check my albumin levels and to rule out anemia. The initial concern is that I'm not getting enough protein and that's contributing to the swelling. Second concern was with gestational diabetes so they bumped my glucose tolerance test from Wednesday (30th) until just after lunch today.

I haven't gotten the results from the bloodwork yet. I was told however to continue doing what I had been doing -- drinking lots of water, staying off my feet and keeping them elevated, watching my blood pressure. And to start getting more protein in my diet.

Progress is being made on the house, albeit still slow. I think we underestimated the size of the project when we started. Plus both C and I are perfectionisits--we're learning to let quite a bit slide on this project. We're no where near where we wanted to be by today. It's going to make moving this week very interesting. We HAVE to be out of the condo on Thursday as they have offered its use to a new employee starting Monday of next week. Our goal is to get the master bedroom finished (all that is left in there is to paint the trim and do touch-ups) so we can at least have a place to sleep; followed by the master bathroom so we can have a place to shower; and lastly, the accent wall in the kitchen so we can get our fridge moved in and can have food in the house. We've already accepted the idea that most of our stuff will stay in storage and will gradually be moved as rooms are finished at the new house. Not the ideal situation, but we'll make it work.

Many people have been sending e-mails, checking in to see how I'm doing. I apologize that the majority of those have not been responded to. I'll try to keep updating the blog so that you know what's going on and I'll work through the e-mails as I get a chance.

I'm off to get my feet elevated for a while. Ugh.

110/70 and Holding Steady

My blood pressure that is...

I apologize for the lapse in updates over the last week. We got the fence issue resolved on Wednesday afternoon and officially closed that day. Keys in hand, ready to move in. Ready to begin the process of turning the house into ours.

As I mentioned before, we decided to repaint and fix some damage before moving our stuff in. We knew that it would be difficult to get it done in time considering we need to be totally out of the condo by August 31. But we assumed that it was doable. We've always managed to bust our ass and get stuff done on time.

We bought our house in Utah in the summer of 2003. I was a grad student at the time and had an incredible flexible schedule (and an incredibly understanding advisor). I would work on grad school stuff until lunch and then head to the house. The afternoons were spent doing all the stuff that we needed to get done before painting -- cleaning, taping, sanding, touch-ups, etc. As soon as C got out of work at 5pm, I'd have everything ready to go to start putting paint on the walls. All he had to do was change his clothes and find some motivation. When we finished with that project we figured that I had completed well over half of the work. Probably two-thirds while he did closer to one-third. I didn't mind at all. I loved feeling productive and I knew that it was making the process go so much faster.

Both of us had grand envisions that this project would follow similar suit to the one in 2003. What neither one of us took into consideration was a pregnant woman entering her third trimester and a nasty case of hyperemesis that still likes to flare. I worked almost all day Friday and Saturday: scrubbing walls, floors, kitchen appliances, greasy kitchen cabinets. By the end of both days my ankles were hugely swollen and I could barely walk. But I felt like I was accomplishing something worthwhile. My progress was much slower than 3 years ago and it was obvious that my flexibility has decreased incredibly. For some reason it proves to be much more difficult to be on my hands and knees scrubbing baseboards behind toilets!

Sunday morning rolled around and I felt horrible. Honestly, horrible doesn't even begin to describe it. Even after a full night's rest (at least 7 hrs) my ankles were still incredibly swollen. My ankles, knees, hips, back, arms and shoulders hurt. I could barely roll out of bed or walk to the bathroom. Which I needed to do frequently, because as soon as I opened my eyes Sunday morning the vomiting began. Along with the vomiting came the sickening realization that there was no way in hell we were going to have all of this work done and be ready to move in before the end of August. C would have to do 80% of the work and with him working 40 hours a week, this was going to be difficult. I laid in bed and sobbed for an hour. I was so mad that I couldn't do the same things that I normally could. I was mad that I work so much slower. Most importantly, I was mad because I knew that it meant I was going to have to resign myself to ask for help.

I'm stubborn. Plain and simple. Growing up in a single parent household, my mom taught me to be very independent. She could fix a toilet, wire a garage, change the oil in her car and was always proud of herself for what she could accomplish on her own. I learned how to do many of those same things (minus the electrical wiring) and was also very proud of my autonomy. The flip side of that is that my mom also HATES to ask for help. Despises it. Which has rubbed off on me. It makes me feel like I'm incompetent; it makes me feel like a failure.

After I laid in bed for that hour I finally broke down and asked C to call his mom and see if she could come out for the week and help us. I knew it was the best way to get things accomplished and try to stick to some semblance of a schedule. Fortunately, C rarely asks for help and she was incredibly grateful for the opportunity. She's here now through Sunday to help get the house painted. Which we did start last night by the way, most of the ceilings are done and we can start with wall color this afternoon, hopefully.

I've receive strict instructions from many (my mom, my sister, my father-in-law, every friend that I've talked to and countless web friends as well) that I'm to "take it easy" and let everyone else do the work. I have to admit that I'm taking it more easily than I normally would but I'm still helping. It's not in my nature to sit on my duff and watch everyone else work. I am sticking to lightweight projects though, taking lots of breaks, drinking lots of water and watching my blood pressure.

If it starts to creep up, I promise. I'll start sitting on my duff and watching them work!

A Minor Hold Up

When the sellers accepted our contract on their house, there was a tiny little clause in it stating they would pay for some special title insurance (I can't remember the name and C has all the paperwork with him at the moment). This insurance would cover us in case there was ever an issue over property boundaries, house location (on the lot), etc. The title company overlooked that clause and didn't prepare the extra insurance. In preparation to accept it they must send out a representative to do a quick survey on the lot to make sure there isn't anything in violation. If the survey looks acceptable then they'll provide that extra insurance.

So at lunchtime yesterday when we were signing the closing paperwork, we noticed that they hadn't completed this aspect of the deal. It was arranged that someone would take a look at the property in the afternoon. Once approved, the paperwork would be sent back to the mortgage company and everything would be finalized. Giving us keys in hand by the end of the day.

Didn't happen.

Come to find out when the owners put up the fence across the back of the lot they never had the property surveyed. The neighbors on both sides had already erected fences so they just needed to finish the section across the back. As many people would do, they just put it in flush with the two sides that had already been put up. Unfortunately, the neighbor on the north side of our property didn't put his fence in properly. It's four feet over the property boundary. Onto the bordering property, of course. So a good sized chunk of our backyard isn't technically ours. And due to this, the title company won't approve this extra title insurance until a resolution is faced.

C spent a good part of last night trying to get quotes on having a new fence installed. Our realtor suggested that the previous owners give us half of the money it would take to move the fence, since it was technically their fault. It would then be up to us to decide whether to actually use the money to move the fence or just pocket it and hope that it never becomes an issue.

I'm hoping that we hear something soon. Rumor has it that the old owners are trying to close on their new house in Las Vegas today, but can't until everything is finalized here. Hopefully that's somewhat of an incentive to get this taken care of quickly!

Surviving the Aftermath

What a weekend!

First of all, Thursday was definitely not a good day to travel. I arrived at the airport here in Idaho Falls first thing in the morning and had absolutely no clue about the increased security alert and the new travel regulations. Fortunately I could move some stuff around and get away with checking my main bag and all liquid items. Both C and I had fairly smooth days and on-time flights. It's just such a long day when we travel from here back to Detroit.

The rest of the weekend flew by in a blur. Friday was spent driving to the wedding, getting ready for the wedding and then the wedding itself. Saturday was more time in the car, then time spent with friends and family. Sunday was then, yet again, more time in the car (I put over 600 miles on the rental car in 4 days!) and then my flights back home.

I'll post some pics in the next couple of days. I came home to a huge amount of work and some serious jetlag. As the fog of jetlag lifts, I'll try to bring everything else back up to speed.

On the Road Again

Just can't wait to get on the road again...



So yeah, my "hickness" (and of course my love for Willie Nelson) shines through ever so brightly this fine Wednesday morning. Every once in a while it's important to remember where you came from.

My little sister--well, I guess she's not so little anymore--gets married on Friday. C and I head out tomorrow to Michigan for the weekend. I love going home to see my family but the trip preparations drive me nuts. Especially when there is a wedding or social event involved that requires us to dress up. For me, everything has to be just perfect down to the smallest accessory. First of all, I must start with the best outfit possible. Then, I make sure that I have the prefect shoes for the outfit, the perfect jewelry and my make-up has to coordinate. Then I try to make C's outfit match my own. For C, as long as his clothes are clean (which is debatable at times), he's good to go.

Preparing for this trip has been more difficult because of two things--pregnancy and our living situation. First of all, finding a maternity dress that I like has been a challenge. I ended up buying two different ones and will have my other sister choose before the wedding. And shoes...don't even get me started on that. I HAVE to have the perfect shoes to go with an outfit. I have lots of really cute dress shoes already. Unfortunately, not a single pair will fit my wide, swollen feet right now. Meaning I had to go out and find a new pair of dress shoes. Which has not been a very successful venture. Idaho Falls isn't exactly a mecca for shopping. Guess that I got spoiled when living in Utah. If I couldn't find something in Provo/Orem I could always head to Salt Lake City. I did find something that will work. It's just not nearly what I was looking for. Oh well. At least it's not house slippers! It hasn't helped either that most of our stuff is hidden in mis-labeled boxes in the storage unit. I can't find most of my make-up--stupid me only packed "essentials", thinking I'd have access to the rest once the movers delivered our stuff. Last night I realized that C's best pair of dress shoes have gone into hiding as well. Which meant I was frantic at midnight trying to think of a new outfit for him to wear while he couldn't have cared less. Ah the joys.

I'll be glad when the wedding portion of this trip is over so that I can relax in my frumpy maternity clothes and not worry about what shoes either of us is wearing.

Wish me luck. I hope that I don't have a hormonal meltdown over something silly.

Closing in

Upon logging onto the computer this morning I realized that at 25 weeks pregnant (to the day) I only have 5 days to go until my countdown in the double digits begins. I think that's when it may start to seem more real. Once I've gone well past the halfway point and have less than 100 days until this little one arrives.

I think that I'm still in denial. Even though the constant nausea and vomiting is a blatant reminder of my pregnancy I don't think that reality has yet to sink in. Even the barrage of kicks/punches the little one delivers doesn't quite make it seem real.

Perhaps it's because we've been so busy with work and preparing to close on the new house.

Perhaps it's because I haven't started buying any of the large items we'll need for the baby.

Perhaps it's because I still feel like crap and have yet to experience that "magical" second trimester where your energy returns and you enjoy being pregnant.

Perhaps it's because I still can't believe that luck turned in our favor and everything fell into place.

Who knows the reasoning behind it. Hopefully reality starts to sink in soon. My days are numbered and that number is dwindling.