This time of year always makes me nostalgic -- it was about this time that I started my adventures in Nepal back in '99. So when the day dawns on January 15th I try to take a few minutes to remember things I desperately want to hold on. And I do the same every day for a week or so afterwards. I'm fortunate that my best memory of my trip kisses me every day before he leaves for work, hugs me every day when he comes home and sits next to me at the dinner table every night. But the other memories fade a little more as the time goes on. Photos help -- bringing back the sights, sounds and smells that one will only understand if they step foot off an airplane in Kathmandu. It saddens me though that the details continuously become more obscure.
Somewhere after lunch today turned into the type of day I convince myself I'm okay with the number on the scale and the strength/tone of my body (which I'm really NOT) in lieu of finding the motivation to eat well and take care of myself.
I'd like to transition into evening with a glass of wine and a bowl of popcorn. The bigger, the better. For both.
Please excuse me, I'm off to raid the pantry to see if anything even remotely resembles a cheeseburger.
When both of my girls were born, I set a personal goal of being able to nurse them until their first birthday.
With KT, we hit a horribly rough spot about 9months in and she self weaned. Honestly, I'm not sure what came first, problems with my supply or her not wanting to nurse. Whatever the case it came to an end much more quickly than I'd hoped for.
This time around we encountered some bumps along the road but we made it to Baby Girl's 1st birthday on Sunday. There were days I wasn't sure we'd make it, but we did. And as her birthday has come and gone, so begins the process of weaning. She was only nursing twice a day and biting more often than getting any nourishment so the decision was made to taper off completely. We've started dropping the session before bed and it's going well so far.
It's sad to see this part of our relationship come to an end but in the same breath I love watching her grow up.
This last year has been crazy. New baby, heart condition, trying to run a business with two kids at home...seems like I have little time for this blog anymore.
But I miss this. I miss this space. The ability to sit down and dump my feelings out. For me, it's therapeutic.
I'm not one to sit and make resolutions. I know that by mid-January I'll be booking a one-way guilt trip because I've tossed them to the wayside. This year though, I honestly do want to make some changes. I need to do a better job of managing my time. I need to do a better job of finding MY time. As in, finding time for myself. Doing things for myself. And yes, that means coming back here more often.
I need it. I need the outlet and truthfully, I miss it.
Instead of not so patiently waiting for the next big thing to happen, I've decided to live in the interim. Life's too much fun to miss out on the day-to-day when you hang your hopes on the life-changing.