At times I sit here and wonder, how in the world, the underlying reason behind the start of this blog, is turning 6 in a few more weeks. How did I manage to blink and all of the sudden have a big girl who goes to kindergarten, rides her bike without training wheels and has a very specific opinion about what she's wearing, how her hair is done and even the accessories that go with her outfit.
We've been through some major transitions/experiences this summer -- KT's best friend moving away, deaths of close family members in both mine and C's families, starting kindergarten, my pregnancy -- and at times it feels like the household is still reeling. Still unsure of our footing as we continue to navigate through these changes. Each day I wake up and hope that the day ahead will be calm and happy, but steeling myself for the likelihood that there will be chaos and tears.
Making the transition into kindergarten has presented many challenges. Sending her off to school wasn't a challenge in itself. I looked forward to hearing her stories, seeing her make the transition into a full-fledged student and having some much needed one on one time with her little sister. What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional turmoil it would create within that beautiful little girl.
The first week was tough on her. Tough on me! She'd come home from school and scream at us over everything. The slightest agitation immediately escalated into rage. Didn't matter if it was because I poured a glass of milk when she wanted water with lunch or her sister took a toy she wanted. No one, no situation was exempt. And the task of trying to get her to rest in the afternoon was another matter. Her school schedule requires us to wake her earlier than she normally gets up, and the activity of a full morning would send her home with big purple circles under her eyes and yawns through lunch. To me, it was apparent that she needed rest, that she needed some time to rejuvenate. The slightest mention of a nap though would initiate tantrums of epic proportion that would leave both her and I exhausted and in tears.
I just wanted to have good days. To hear her excitement over school -- friends made, songs sung, games played. Instead we've muddled our way through the screaming and the tantrums, hoping the transitional time would be short.
She just finished her third week of school and it's getting better. We're making progress but there is still much ground to be covered. Each week I'm trying to help the transition along. Trying to come up with ways to sidestep the tantrums and screaming. Trying to take little steps, giving KT a little more independence and helping to foster her self-confidence while finding a balance of showing her that I still love her dearly and she's still my little girl.