Parenting is a series of decisions. Making choices that are right for the child, right for the family as a whole. Some of these decisions are ones that can be made quickly and others take much more time. We have to mull them around for a bit, bouncing around different scenarios in our brain until we find the one that feels right in our conscience.
Even before I had children, I knew the likelihood of my kids being strong-willed, opinionated or stubborn would be quite high. With the genetic combination of this set of parents it would be nearly impossible to avoid any of those traits. But my hope was that this personality attributes would come together to create teenagers, and adults at some point in time, that would be steadfast in their decisions, unfaltering to the peer pressure of others. That when they said "no" to something, they'd stand behind their choice.
I also knew that making decisions about parenting strong-willed, opinionated, stubborn children wouldn't come easy. That there would be many sleepless nights spent weighing the pros and cons of decisions, trying to figure out the best path for them. Naively I believed we wouldn't face these hard decisions until we were facing teenager years, or at least the pre-teen era.
Now I sit and face some tough decisions. Decisions I never anticipated having to make. Ones that I had hoped we'd never even have to think about. By now I should know that life will throw very unexpected situations at us, keeping us on our toes at all times.
These decisions cause me to sit and question my parenting, the choices I've made up to this point. Are we in this place now because of something we did wrong in the past? Could I have done something different as a mom?
I know that I need to stop doing that; I need to believe in myself and my parenting abilities. At the end of the day, whether or not others believe it, I need to remember that I am a good parent and I am doing a good job.
I'm not at a place where I can openly talk about what's going on. Maybe that time will be soon, maybe it won't. But until that times comes I need to use this place as a sounding board, albeit filled with vagueness.
5 comments:
I believe in you and your parenting abilities! We do the best we can and make the best decisions we can based on the knowledge and circumstances at the time. And then as things change or more information comes to light, as it seems it is for you, you can reevaluate and perhaps change paths. That doesn't mean what you did before was wrong, just that circumstances have changed in some shape or form. You are a fabulous mom, never doubt that <3
Hugs, Mama. I believe in you too.
Parenting is a lot of making things up as you go along, but we don't have all the answers despite our best intentions. Don't ever be afraid to ask for all the help you need from anyone who can provide it. <3
Hope everything is ok.
I meant everything I said to you yesterday. You got this! Believe it, because you do!
XOXO
Vagueness is just fine for now. :D Some days I feel like I am rocking the decision making part of parenting and other days it feels like I make epic mistake after epic mistake. We just have to hope that at the end of our parenting tenure (like there will be an end ;D) we made more good decisions than bad. 51% sounds about where I am headed. :D
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