April 29, 2006

Going by so fast

It's hard for me to believe that 7 weeks ago I got that positive pregnancy test. Only now is it really starting to sink in. I know that I've been really quiet about a lot of things and many have voiced their concern. {You know who you are, Grandma. ;) } Honestly, it's really been for a couple of reasons.

Obviously the first reason is that it's really hard for me to get excited. After being knocked on my butt twice last year it's much easier to not get excited and then be pleasantly surprised when things turn out well. I know that I need to change this attitude. I promise that I'm trying to, it's happening a little bit at a time.

The second reason too is that even though this pregnancy is a huge part of my life right now, it's not the only part. I want to be able to have real conversations with people. Talk about things other than the baby. My job still sucks, the weather continues to change, and my dear husband will probably always do stupid things like try to burn the kitchen down.

I'm not sure how the third reason stacks up compared to the other two but it's important to me. I have incredible friends that are either struggling to get pregnant, struggling to stay pregnant or dealing with the fact that they'll never be able to be pregnant again. Not one of them has said anything negative to me and I know that they are incredibly happy. But I know how hard it is to be on the other side sometimes. How difficult it is to listen to pregnancy joys and woes even though you are happy. So I'm trying to be careful of their feelings.

It's a fine line somedays. Trying to stay optimistic; trying to not let it overtake your being; trying to be courteous of friends. But it's a line that I'm walking, hand in hand with great people.


Sami said...

Well you know my philosphy - open mouth insert foot - is my general policy for myself that is. You are more than a pregnancy, so whether it be your pregnancy, your PICC<, your morning sickness, your exhaustion, your job, your husband, your crazy dogs, or the state you live in - feel free to talk/vent, cry, yell, whisper etc. I'm listening and I always will be. I may be quiet sometimes but that doesn't mean I'm not here when needed and as always incredibly happy for you - so go on the premise that Sam is never easily offended and open mouth- try not to insert foot like I do 90% of the time.

Kristen said...

I love the previous comment. She said it all!! I WANT to hear all of your pg woes and joys. I want to experience it all with you. With me, there is no line and remember that. I don't want to be sheltered from any of it.

KrisAndRod said...

Seems someone is either on one side or the other of this never ending battle. Your true friends are those who, no matter what battle they might be fighting personally, are still able to listen to you and share in your joys/sorrows/triumphs/tribulations honestly and without judgement. I love you and hope you don't hold anything back with me!