April 5, 2006

When the going gets tough...

This last week has been difficult for me. I've tried my hardest to stay positive and to think "good thoughts" but somewhere along the line I failed miserably. I turned into a scared, nervous wreck. When I was pregnant last spring, about this same time (gestation-wise) I began spotting. My obstetrician said that it was nothing to be concerned about and didn't warrant an ultrasound. A couple of days later I ended up in the ER and discovered there was no heartbeat. I miscarried shortly therafter. As much as my gut has been telling me this time is different I found myself doubting everything because of the events of the last year. So in order to spare everyone my anxiety and nervousness, I've just kept myself locked up, emotionally.

This morning was our viability ultrasound with Dr. DoNothing. I appreciate it tremendously that he didn't once mention how frustrated I was with him when he told me to try to get pregnant "naturally" for six month. I didn't want to admit that perhaps he really knew what he was talking about--although I do admit it, to myself.

I was mentally prepared for the worst. Fortunately for us as soon as the doctor had the probe in place the "blob" on the screen began to pulse, showing us the most miraculous sight. Suprisingly enough I didn't even cry. But instead smiled and held C's hand, knowing that this time is going to work.

We're not "out of the woods" yet but Dr. DoNothing said the chances of "something" happening now are less than 10%. I'm to continue the progesterone shots through the end of the first trimester and bring our beautiful baby to their office when the time comes.

Our Baby. I like the sound of that.


6 comments:

Sami said...

That is a beautiful sight... D and I are so very happy for the two of you. I prefer to skew your Dr. Do Nothing's numbers a bit... there's a 90% chance that you'll be having a baby... actually screw it lets get all optimistic like - 100% You're having a baby!

Kristen said...

I told you so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;>) I am so excited for you!!

KrisAndRod said...

And so continues the world of worry. Welcome to motherhood! :D

Though I coulda killed you for not calling me sooner yesterday... I was waiting on pins & needles for your call all day! I'm so so so happy things looked good and baby measured right where s/he should be.

Beth said...

Congratulations on the heartbeat - thinking good thoughts for you.

Lorem ipsum said...

Congratulations! What sweet relief!

Trista said...

Ah, I haven't been here for a bit, so I'm behind in my congratulations.

But, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

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