April 8, 2009

Taking a Step Back

A couple of months ago, I started running again. Trying to build up some stamina and endurance in the hope to work up to running a 5K this spring/summer. I made it to about week 5 of the 8 week training program I was doing but severely stalled out a month ago and my gym attendance dropped drastically.

I've tried to justify my reasons for not going -- the craziness of the grant submission, my sister visiting from Michigan, family dinner time -- it helped to ease the guilt creeping into my brain when yet another day went by that I didn't go to the gym to run. The truth is, it's hard to find the time and I'd much rather do something else in its place.

Last week I started doing strength training at home. After 2 complete rounds of training sessions at the gym, I have a good idea what I need to do. Couple that with some online help in putting a workout together, some free weights, a resistance band, a jump rope, an exercise ball and the Wii Fit (for cardio) and I can put together something that's equivalent to what I can do at the gym. Without leaving my house.

But guilt still lingers. The guilt that once again, I set a goal (albeit weak since I never registered for a race) and I'm walking away from it. Yesterday I made a conscious decision to focus on the strength training and not be concerned about running. Maybe when the weather gets nicer I can run when KT is awake. Maybe. Or maybe I'll just run around the backyard with her, chasing the dogs and laughing at our silliness. Or maybe I'll attempt it again in another year.

The guilt of stopping the training is less though, than the guilt of not going to the gym when I knew I should be. I know I tried to meet that goal; I know it isn't a fit right now. The benefits I was gaining are outweighed by the disadvantages.

A copout? Perhaps. Even so, it's a choice that I'm 100% okay with right now.


Jessica said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jessica said...

Sorry, my delete...I didn't proofread before posting!

Anyways, what I originally said was that only you know what's best for you and your family. You've totally met one of your goals (the weight loss) and that itself was awesome. It's not like you're totally not exercising. At least you have some kind of exercise plan/routine, even if it is at home. That's more than what I can say for myself lol...

And, honestly, it's amazing how much exercise you can get chasing a toddler around!

JWZ1978 said...

You have so much to be proud of for all you've done related to the gym and weight loss, huge achievements! Sometimes goals have to be adjusted to meet the demands of life. Sounds like you've adjusted your goal to fit your life, but you haven't dropped it, you're still working to be active and making plans for yourself accordingly. Will you be my trainer :)

Erin said...

Do you like to read novls but find that there is no time to do that either? I do and here's my solution. I borrow audio books from the library, upload them to the computer and play them on my ipod while I walk. I get totally hooked on the stories and am really motivated to exercise so that I can hear the next chapter in my "book". Try it - you might like it. This also works for house cleaning motivation as well!

peter said...

Your life, your decision...ditch the guilt. As someone who harbors way too much guilt for things I probably shouldn't feel guilty for (or definitely shouldn't if you ask my husband,) there are plenty of other things to feel guilty about. ;) Kristy