February 24, 2010

The Slippery Slope

I'm sitting at a point I hate.  I've been here before and you'd think I'd learn my lesson.  You'd think I know enough to not make the mistakes that put me here.  

But I don't.  I know what I need to do, I know what I should do, but I'm just not doing it.  It's more fun to take the easy way out and be lazy.

This last 6 months has been tough.  I've had many things to deal with in terms of my health.  That 6 months has taken a toll on my body.

I stopped exercising over the summer when the chiari got so badly.  Our eating habits took a turn for the worst because I didn't feel like cooking.  Surgery came and went -- we had meals delivered to our door, we ordered a lot of pizza, we ate what was convenient.  What other people made.  I was on 6 weeks of very stringent restrictions.

Then the restrictions lifted.  I started to feel better and started cooking again.  I started baking -- fun things to bide our afternoons when it was snowing, loaves upon loaves of wheat bread to find my perfect recipe, sourdough goodies to play with my sourdough starter.

Alas, it all began to catch up with me.  My physical activity didn't match the foods I was enjoying and the scale began to climb.  A pound here, a pound there.  Not enough to make me need to switch my wardrobe but enough to make me feel uncomfortable.  In both my skin and my clothes.

I'm not back to my heaviest weight by a long shot.  I'm not even back to where I was 18 months ago.  I am however closer to that weight than my goal and I want to get back.  I want to feel good in my skin again.

So I have to get back on track.  I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never be one who can eat whatever I want with no thought to exercising.  It would be nice to be lazy and skinny.


Lost in Space said...

I need to get back on this track too, but it is so hard for those comfort foods to be bygones.

Wishing you luck...You've already passed the first hurdle.

Flying Monkeys said...

OMG! You look great...but I know we always look at ourselves differently.

I would love to have a naturally fast metabolism but I think too many years of eating disorders and binging and yo-yoing, oh and genetics have ruled that out. Hum bug!

When the weather clears we can walk together if you'd like.

Good luck!

Jen Gray said...

I know the feeling. One day at a time! I've been eating willy nilly because I was so underweight after my surgery--but no longer! I got my wake up call when I looked at my calendar and realized that we are going on a cruise in the Caribbean in less than 8 weeks! : O

So...it's back on for me, too. We can do it!

marci said...

Come along with me on this journey! I really slacked off after my surgery (over a year ago) and never quite found my way back. I'm determined this is the year to shed those last 25 lbs. Let's support each other in reaching this goal!