March 6, 2006

Two sides to the coin

Friday's news of a friend's pregnancy filled me with hope and excitement. I truly am 100% happy for her. Her situation is one that I can relate to, to an extent. Both of our journeys have been long and arduous. Her news reinforces the fact that everything will work out; her news gives me hope and strength.

Today's news of a friend's pregnancy filled me with sadness and frustration. I sat at my desk, trying to cry quietly enough that no one would realize I was. Her situation is one that I don't quite understand or agree with for that matter. Why does it seem that those in less than ideal situations have no difficulty getting pregnant? Unfortunately her news makes me want to throw myself on the ground, screaming and kicking like a two year old in the midst of a horrible tantrum.

I hate these days and the person I've become.


Kristen said...

You are still a beautiful person, don't you worry. Your post for todays sounds strikingly like mine. Hang in there, tomorrow will be a better day!

Sami said...

A few months ago I had a day like that... I found out in one 12 hour shift that 3 people were pregnant... Of the 3 I was happy for 2 of them... the third I just wanted to pound my head into a wall over... I didn't of course, offered my congratulations, etc... and thought things will get better. I've chosen to focus on those positive happy pregnancies... the other I try not to think about.

Tomorrow will be better... hang in there.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine how you are feeling. I know how bad Cris and you want a family, but I also know how strong you guys are. Keep your head up, lots of people love you and are praying for you (including me!!!).
Love, Stinky

Anonymous said...

It sounds like your head and your heart aren't in agreeance. Your head tells you you should be happy for her, but your heart is broken and can't help but weep. There is one thing I know for sure, your heart is strong and will heal and you will be able to be happy for her. This doesn't make you a terrible person, it makes you human. Hang in there!
Love, Bean

KrisAndRod said...

I'm so sorry, Manna. I hope you know I struggled with whether to tell you or not. I didn't want to be the one to add to your heartache again, wasn't sure it was my place to even tell you. I know you said you'd rather have heard it from me, but I still hate the fact that in essence, I caused you this pain.

I can't wait until the day when I can rejoice and celebrate your good news. That day will come, I just know it!

I love you.

Mandy said...

It's nice to know that I have such great support from the people in my life. And nice to know that you guys really are out there reading this! Love ya.