February 24, 2006

Head to Head with the Demon

A few posts back I mentioned that demon--the one who tries so vehemently to grab hold of me and pull me under. Yesterday we went head to head again and I'm proud to say that I won. Although barely.

Do you ever have those days where shortly after you get out of bed you realize that maybe you made a huge mistake? That you should have shut the alarm off, called in sick and pulled the covers over your head? Yesterday was one of those days for me. I wish someone would invent an alarm clock that would not only remind you to get up, but could somehow forecast how your day would unfold. If it was going to be a good day, the digital display would be a nice, soothing color. I'll say green. Because most Americans associate the color green with "go". As in "go, get out of bed, face your day, it will be okay". If it was going to be a bad day, the digital display would be a color that isn't so soothing. In this case, I'll say red because we associate red with "stop". As if the alarm was telling you to "stop, stay in bed, save yourself the agony".

If only it really was that easy.

I should have known that it would be one of those all-day battles yesterday. Shortly after I got up I was in the shower, getting ready for work and I felt the demon. Standing in the corner, watching me ever so closely, waiting for the right minute to make his move. I tried my best to go about my way and ignore him. Hoping that I was stronger than him, that I wouldn't succumb. Once I got to work I could feel his presence moving closer, now standing over my shoulder. Every time I turned around the demon was there. Trying to trip me up, make me fall flat on my face. I continued to try and ignore him but it became increasingly difficult. At one point mid-morning I contemplated giving up the fight and going home to the haven of my bed. But I stood my ground and slowly pushed the demon further and further away until he was standing outside my window looking in--no longer able to grab me and pull me under.

These days are occurring less frequently as time goes on. With each passing one I seem to have more strength to fight the next battle. What baffles me though, is how the demon comes out of nowhere. I can't see or feel him coming; I can't predict when he'll make his next appearance. I've racked my brain trying to figure out what triggers his arrival. I wish he'd be like the dentist and send me a reminder card saying, "Your Next Appointment is due after August 21, 1006". That way I could schedule our next "go-round" and prepare myself mentally for the torture.

If only it really was that easy.


Sami said...

First good for you... You're not judged by how much you win in those fights just that you do... and some days it's a tie... and that's okay...

Second - if you find out how to get that particular demon to send out reminder cards please send him along to mine... they can chat and come up with spiffy home made reminder cards that pleasantly tell you... "I'm here to screw with you today... be prepared and have reinforcments ready."

KrisAndRod said...

I'm so sorry you have to even deal with the damn demon. You continue to prove yourself as such as strong woman, and hopefully each battle only makes you stronger.