February 14, 2006

RE Russian Roulette

Infertility testing done in early December showed a rather larger polyp in my uterus that was in dire need of a relocation. Preferrably the pathology lab at LDS Hospital. On February 1st I had a hysteroscopy and D&C. There are no incisions made during the surgery so one can put two and two together to figure out exactly how the doc got where he needed to be. Yeah, I don't need to say anything else. The hysteroscopy part is actually pretty cool, they send in a tiny camera to be their seeing eye dog and then use a thin wire to slice off the polyp. The D&C part is not so cool, they scrape the endometrial lining to "clean out the cobwebs" as C would say. All in all the surgery went well although much more involved and longer than anticipated. What was thought to be a straightforward procedure--get in, cut it off, scrape it out and "git-r-done"--turned into a much more complex event. Once in place the video screen showed a minefield of polyps and debris. The RE said that in 25 years of being a doctor he has only seen polyps that extensive in a patient my age a couple of times. But now we're all cleaned out and good to go, or at least I thought.

Last Friday I met w/ my RE, who I have officially dubbed Dr. DoNothing, for a follow up appointment. To put it mildly I was dissatisfied with our discussion. Actually I felt that the conversation was rather one-sided as my thoughts and opinions were tossed aside like a two day old newspaper. He discussed, I sat and fumed. He said that it was important that I "get pregnant quickly" as he has concerns the polyps will return. His plan of action was to continue charting my cycles (see "Hormone Report" under Links) and try unmedicated for 4-6 months. To me his plan sounds completely absurd.

I had originally been referred to this RE after my second miscarriage last year. Both times I had gotten pregnant my ob/gyn (Dr. Amazing) had me on low dose clomid to induce ovulation. The first miscarriage was thought to be a fluke, one of those "1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage" statistics. The second one six months later opened both of our eyes. Dr. Amazing realized there could be a problem that he was not entirely qualified to diagnose or handle. Dr. DoNothing began by running some preliminary tests, one of which showed the monster polyp. But I digress...

I've been trying to get pregnant for 18 months now. Throwing everything I have at this journey--charting my basal body temperature, using a fertility monitor, drinking green tea, eating baby carrots, taking prenatals, swallowing Robitussin and Mucinex, scheduling our sex life and putting my hands god-knows where to check bodily fluids. 6 cycles of those 18 I've been on clomid, 2 of those cycles I got pregnant. You do the math. Seems like those 12 unmedicated cycles where I didn't get pregnant and the 2 medicated ones where I did show some sort of pattern. Perhaps my body needs a gentle shove to help procreation along. It appears that Dr. DoNothing attended a very different statistics class than I did. He seems to think that I need to waste another 4-6 months unmedicated. I don't think the same way. I want to go back on clomid or move on to injectables, NOW. That's the most logical way for me to get pregnant quickly.

Obviously, what do I know? I'm certainly not a medical professional. I'm just the one who's dealt with the heartache of 16 cycles that failed to end in two lines on a pregnancy test. More importantly I'm the one who's dealt with the heartache of 2 cycles that did end in two lines on a pregnancy test but failed to thrive past 9 weeks gestation. I think that I am qualified to know what's best for us in this situation, what is an appropriate plan of action. I'm tired of waiting. Tired of dealing with the heartache and pain. I want to be a mom more than I can even convey to my husband.

This Friday, I have an appointment with a new specialist. I hope this one feels I'm qualified to have some say in the decision making process.


Nicole said...

Mandy - I found your blog through a search on Google. I'm writing a book on women in the LDS church who are experiencing infertility, and I would love for you to tell your story. There is anonymity if you want it, and I am growing this community of LDS women as we speak, who are all writing their stories for this book - their true feelings and what they are going through. Feel free to pop over to my blog, where my e-mail address is (so you know I am legit, not some spammer). Drop me a line - I'd love to talk to you. ((hugs))